We are exploring here the quality of compassion or loving kindness, which manifests as a sensitivity, an empathy, an attunement that is necessary for inquiry. This attunement of the Green diamond of the Diamond Guidance is so completely selfless that it has an unlimited capacity to see us exactly where we are.

Compassion: this is the aspect of loving kindness that is needed to experience and accept one's hurts and wounds, without defense and without resentment. One cannot have an objective understanding about anyone if there is no Compassion. Where there is Compassion it becomes possible to experience one's wounds, an experience which readily leads to the aspects related to these wounds. Each time an aspect is buried, there results a wound in the psyche and the experience and acceptance of this wound is indispensable for the emergence of the buried aspect.

This manifestation of Essence is a whole dimension which manifests as a diamond-like clarity, with the various colors and qualities of the essential aspects. The clear, crystalline medium manifests itself both in a colorless form, indicating clarity, and also colored with the rich hues of the essential aspects. As we become clearer about this self-aware, clear presence as it manifests as and through the essential aspects, we come to understand the various elements needed in mirroring. We do not simply need to be seen; we need to be seen with admiration, kindness, appreciation, love, precision, clarity, joy, excitement, and so on. These needs are totally met when we start seeing ourselves with these qualities, reflecting the presence of these essential qualities in the mirroring awareness. The clear medium then appears with the beautiful yellow of Joy, reflecting seeing ourselves happily; or with the soft pink of Love, reflecting seeing ourselves with sweetness and love; or with the emerald green of Loving Kindness, reflecting seeing ourselves with kindness and sensitivity; or with the deep amber of Value, as we see ourselves with appreciation and esteem; or with the brilliant ruby red of Strength, reflecting seeing ourselves with excitement and aliveness; or with the rich apricot color of Fulfillment, reflecting being fulfilled by seeing ourselves; and so on.

This is an example of how an essential aspect is integrated on the dimension of the Diamond Will, as a support for nondoing, and therefore, for simply being. It demonstrates how the qualities of the aspect—in this case Loving Kindness—are completely intertwined with those of support.

Here, we appreciate Kohut’s emphasis on empathy and acceptance; a kind holding environment is necessary to allow the student to stay with such a deep wound. What is actually needed is the presence of compassion and kindness; these qualities are more fundamental than the presence of one kind of object relation or another. The aspect of Essence we recognize as Loving Kindness is the element of our true nature necessary for the self to tolerate the experience of emotional hurt. The more we are aware of the presence of Loving Kindness, the more our hurt can be uncovered and tolerated. This is like a natural law which we discover when we explore this particular manifestation of Being. The Loving Kindness needs definitely to be present in the holding environment, for instance, in the presence of the teacher. But unless the student herself has some realization of this kindness, it will be almost impossible for her to tolerate the deep hurt of the narcissistic wound. Empathy and empathic mirroring are natural expressions of the presence of Loving Kindness. Loving Kindness is the warmth and openness of heart that makes it possible for us to be genuinely sensitive, considerate, compassionate, and sympathetic, which qualities are the basis of the capacity for empathy.