More precisely, the ontological nature of this dimension is the total coemergence and synthesis of pure presence and absolute emptiness. So it is clear and colorless presence, pure and independent of qualities, coextensive with the darkness of total absence. The quintessential aspects are simply the same nature manifesting with a particular quality and its color, in the form of a faceted diamond. From this place we experience the world as luminous appearance, crystalline and rich with qualities, but whose nature is the coemergence of clear presence and black emptiness. It is a jeweled universe, glittering and radiant, but the jeweled forms are formations that the luminous emptiness assumes. More precisely, the universe is nothing but a self-luminous emptiness, where this self-luminosity assumes the forms of manifestation. It is as if the empty vastness, which is simply total absence, differentiates itself into the forms of the world by its own self-radiance. The glowing radiance is not only at the surface, but pervades the vast emptiness. The radiance is awareness, but is felt also as pure presence.

This precipitates the movement of the student’s identity into a subtler manifestation of being, a totally nonconceptual realization of true nature . . . . . . This experience is boundless, but it does not feel as clear as presence or fullness. It is like experiencing the inside of all of the universe as a totally clear and completely transparent, crystalline medium. There is no iota of obscuration or impediment, just an infinity of transparent clarity. There is a stunning sense of awakeness, intensely fresh and new. When there are no concepts in our recognition of ourselves, nothing is old; everything is the pure freshness of suchness, the intensity of eternity that has no concept of time. The recognition of ourselves has no mental elaboration; it is the totally pure being of transparent crystalline clarity. There is a solidity of presence, an infinite immensity that feels at the same time absolutely empty and nonexistent. We know our nature as the most solid and fundamental ground of all appearance, without this nature taking on any sense of fullness or substance. It is a totally solid, complete absence, which shatters the mind with its cool transparency. In this manifestation there is no sense of individual or self, but no sense of their absence, for either would be a concept. Everything seems to be part of this immense clarity, which is totally itself, without it needing to be conceptualized. All objects and persons appear as part of this transparent clarity, pervaded with it, constituted of it, but only as transparent patterns in this nameless reality. Thus, duality is transcended before it is even conceptualized.

Curiosity arises about the concern regarding motivation. However, investigating my intentions in giving the lecture, I realize I have no motivation. The spontaneous inquiry, which is an expression of the presence of the nous, reveals that my mind does not accept that I have no motivation regarding this event. So, it projects some misunderstanding onto others. By afternoon I find my awareness inside the state of the black rock. It is a rock no more, but a radiant black crystalline nothingness, that feels like the very essence of the state of peace. Contemplating the mysterious peaceful emptiness, I feel a complete aloneness, a total disengagement from everybody and everything. As the black faceted presence, I experience no concern in relation to anyone or any idea. I am a truth-consciousness, a presence totally independent from and transcendent to any relation to anything. I am the presence of total freedom from having to respond to anyone. Inner object relations are entirely absent, bringing a sense of complete freedom from all external relationships. There is no motivation for doing anything, even helping. Nevertheless, there is selfless helping, because the truth is the source of love and compassion. I cannot help being helpful, because it is my nature to be a source of generosity and giving. The crystalline voidness is complete absence of self-centredness, and this is the essence of selfless generosity.

An alternative experience is that of awareness of one’s presence as the vast crystalline mystery of the absolute, whose surface is a transparent and clear crystalline layer that contains all the forms of manifestation, in all of its dimensions. In this experience it is quite clear that nonconceptual presence or pure awareness is the ground of all manifestation, yet it is external to the absolute. More accurately, the absolute functions as the ground of all reality, including nonconceptual awareness. The absolute is the ground of all grounds, the ultimate ground. In other words, the emptiness of the absolute is the ground of all reality, so all manifest forms, whether relative or essential, are grounded in emptiness. This is quite a paradoxical truth, for it shows that nonbeing is the ground of all being. All forms, regardless of how real or substantial, are grounded in nothing. Such is the objective relation that the ground dimension reveals the absolute to have in relation to all manifestation.

When we are precise and exact in our understanding of the absolute nature, the solidity can attain a faceted and crystalline quality. We experience ourselves then as a crystalline absence, a clear and absolutely transparent immensity. This experience is completely paradoxical. We feel totally solid and full, with crystalline sharpness and clarity, yet simultaneously we feel so light, so empty, so not there, that we are the absolute absence of anything. We are both simultaneously, a quality of experience completely incomprehensible to the conceptual mind. Yet it is the most beautiful, the most aesthetically satisfying, and the most dazzling of perceptions. We feel fully present, but our presence is so smooth and crystalline because it is solid absence, with no coarseness and no opaqueness.

The fact that the Diamond Will is a dimension of Essence means that integrating it is a much larger and more involved process than that of integrating a single essential aspect. As with other dimensions, the process of integration goes through two phases. The first phase is a matter of experiencing this whole dimension as a unit, as one manifestation. We experience it as a delineated form or structure of presence, very intricate and rich with detail. It is basically the manifestation of all essential aspects together, forming one structure. Since each aspect has a unique color and affect, the structure appears to be composed of colored lights, dancing with blissful feelings. It is a self-luminous, latticed, crystalline structure, with brilliant, dancing colors inseparable from the blissful qualities, all held within a sense of power and solidity of presence. The sense of immensity and majesty is breathtaking, reminding us of the mother spaceship in the movie, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Given that this breathtaking structure is the prototype, it is no wonder that in our transferences the idealized object is imbued with such perfection of power and beauty. Experiencing Diamond Will elicits and clarifies all the major issues about support, particularly those of the idealizing transference . . . . . . . A new phase of integration commences when specific essential aspects emerge singly or in combination, experienced as aspects of support. In other words Love or Peace or Kindness or Intelligence, and so on, may arise as support. Each of these manifestations may bring up a specific issue about support.

At this stage, seeing where we are transforms smoothly into the state of self-realization with objective awareness of ourselves. There is the presence of the point (Essential Identity) and the nondual experience of it; the point is present within a clear and transparent medium. We know ourselves as a transparent and clear presence, crystalline in its clarity and precision, the center of which is the blinding brilliance of the Essential Identity. The presence is totally clear, totally devoid of any obscurations; it is sharp, vivid, and rich, with inherent luminosity. This is the mirror-like awareness, which is now inseparable from the presence of the Essential Identity, but in a faceted and precise diamond-like form. There is a precise, clear, and objective seeing of oneself inseparable from the simplicity of being oneself. Seeing where one is and following the thread of one’s unfoldment is the teaching of this manifestation of Essence. This manifestation of Essence is a whole dimension which manifests as a diamond-like clarity, with the various colors and qualities of the essential aspects. The clear, crystalline medium manifests itself both in a colorless form, indicating clarity, and also colored with the rich hues of the essential aspects. As we become clearer about this self-aware, clear presence as it manifests as and through the essential aspects, we come to understand the various elements needed in mirroring . . . . . .. Only the realization of this dimension of Being will completely resolve the need for mirroring. This dimension also clarifies why we need to be seen with appreciation, sensitivity, love, and so on, for we need to realize this richness of our Being. It is our potential and our human inheritance, and it is our unconsciously-felt right, which we usually experience as entitlement. Our potential beckons to us, and at the beginning this beckoning appears as our need and our sense of entitlement.

I, as the soul, behold the absolute appearing in the heart, occupying it as its rightful resident. The heart beholds the absolute as the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever beheld. It is dazzling and intoxicating, so black it is brilliant with blackness. It is nothing, but it shimmers and shines in such a dazzling way that I can see it has a crystalline quality. It is an infinite black crystal absence, brilliantly shimmering. The radiance is so bright it illuminates the cave of the heart the way a lightning storm illuminates the night. The lightning illumination ricochets in the cavern of the heart with such power I can hear it thundering and exploding. The beloved now claims the heart fully. It has taken full possession of it, as its own throne. The beloved is not an other, it is the true dweller of the heart, my source, my ultimate self, and the ultimate essence of everything. I am struck by the realization that in this experience I perceive the absolute for the first time in the heart, by the heart. The absolute is perceived inside the soul, by the soul. The heart reveals itself to be the abode of the absolute. More exactly, the heart is the window to the absolute. I have experienced the absolute many times before, almost continuously, but not in the heart, and not through the individual soul.

The student realizes at this point that she is infinite and boundless, a vastness that has no end. It is as if she becomes the vastness of intergalactic space, seeing that this absolute blackness has a crystalline purity and clarity which make the blackness shimmer and glitter with indescribable brilliance. Her mind explodes into absolute clarity and brilliance, her heart a vastness of annihilating intimacy and bliss, and her body a shimmering which is the appearance of the totality of the universe. She perceives the universe, in all its multiplicity and richness, as a beautiful appearance, as a brilliantly colored robe that she wears. She finds herself to be the immensity of the mysterious blackness, with the universe as the colorful pattern of her radiance. The totality of the universe is a unified oneness, but more than that. Oneness is a poor concept to describe such sheer beauty. She recognizes all of appearance, all that appears to perception, as the brilliant luminosity of the mysterious black vastness. She recognizes that it feels mysterious because she cannot determine its nature, which is absolutely indeterminable. She feels total solidity, a crystalline diamond solidity, but at the same time recognizes that she is absolutely nothing, that she is absence itself. The absolute truth of Being is absolute existence which is at the same time absolute absence. It is the source and essence of everything, but at the same time it is total openness, an absolute absence of any weight or substance. The fact that it is absolute nonexistence gives it its annihilating power. The self feels annihilated because it discovers that its absolute essence is total absence. There is actually no annihilation, only the realization of the selflessness of Being, whose absolute essence is totally ungraspable, completely beyond definition. This indeterminacy is experienced as a paradox of being and nonbeing, existence and nonexistence, neither and not neither.

I see that this infinite colorless crystalline presence appears carved everywhere into intricate shapes and designs, luminously colorful and enchantingly beautiful. I perceive this carving to be the forms that constitute the universe, many forms but one appearance. Everything that I can see, everything I have known, is nothing but the external topology of the totally void crystalline presence. The world is not a veil, it is only the appearance of reality. Being, which reveals itself now as simultaneously both absence and clarity, manifests itself through the world, and as the world. The body has also become a transparent form, part of the luminous surface I have known for years as the world. Inside the body, as well as outside it, shines the virgin reality, the nonconceptual truth. Even as I get up, go to the kitchen and begin to cook, I realize it is the immensity and clarity of the crystal presence which is cooking. The wall, the stove and the pots, all seem to be transparent forms, all outside me, and I am their inner core, a sheer clarity, translucent to the point of nothingness. I am delight itself, moving and cooking. I am ecstatic freshness, cutting the vegetables, and tasting the sauce. The understanding is undeniable: to content myself with the familiar knowledge of the mind is to be asleep. The knowledge of memory, of word and concept, is obscuration. To unquestioningly accept the familiar world is to kill the real world.

We find that home is the inner of the inner, in the most secret chamber of our heart. When we discover the absolute in our heart, which is a particular realization of the absolute, we find out that it is what our heart has always been looking for. (See The Point of Existence, chapter 41, for a discussion of the process of finding the absolute in the heart.) We learn that we have been erecting idols in our heart, when our heart is in reality the Kaaba, the throne of the divine essence, the absolute. We have been loving so many people, so many things, and filling our heart with them and then wondering how come we are not completely happy and totally fulfilled. But now we realize that we have needed to keep our heart vacant, emptying it from all other loves except the love of the truth. We did not recognize what should truly fill our heart, who our real beloved is, until now. When we see the luminous crystalline mystery in the depths of our heart our love runneth over; we are beyond ourselves with deep joy and passionate love. We finally recognize our true and one beloved, the one we have been looking and waiting for, and understand the reason for our previous lack of total contentment and complete fulfillment. All these loves were simply expressions of the true beloved, reminding us of Him, and because of that we loved them.

The background of this unfoldment, the absolute, is so totally dark it appears black, but luminous crystal clear black. We experience it as beyond the world. The world looks like a transparent picture, as if it were a soap bubble with pictures on it. It looks like a reflection on the inside of a transparent bubble, within the infinite immensity of the crystalline absolute. This perception changes depending on how involved we are in the manifestation, or how concentrated we are on the absolute. When we are witnessing within the manifestation but still being the absolute, we can perceive our body moving, doing what it does—eating, talking, and so on. However, all this is seen as completely spontaneous functioning, not belonging to a person or a self. There is no doer whatsoever. Everything is happening as functioning; each part is doing its functioning smoothly and spontaneously. The functioning is not related to a doer, a person, or a self. And it is not seen as separate from other functioning in the environment, for all functioning is a unified dynamic field. Furthermore, the functioning is the same as the phenomena, the perceived reality, the logos whose dynamic pattern is the universe. However, there is no I, no self, no center. The awareness and perception originate from the darkness of the absolute.

Brilliancy attains more qualities here. It is not just a luminescent, radiant, brilliant, and shining presence, but that fluid, flowing, and shining presence is now the flow of brilliant diamonds. The luminosity attains a crystalline quality, a diamond quality, which gives it a sense of clarity and awakeness. What do you become clear and awakened to? Your nature, to what is you. You become a light, but the light—by becoming light—becomes awakened to itself as a light. You become a light unto yourself. What you awaken to, which is a specific effect of the brilliant drink, is that your nature itself is pure preciousness itself, the utmost preciousness that there can be. So you realize that your nature is not only luminous and brilliant intelligence, but that it is precious. You see and appreciate now the sense of preciousness of Being, which is your essence and the substance of your consciousness. It is this preciousness that awakens, it is this preciousness that wakes you up, and it is this preciousness that you awaken to. This is the preciousness of Being, of Essence, and the preciousness of what a human being is. But it is not like you are seeing something that is precious. This is only the Brilliancy itself when it is diamondized, when it is in the diamond or crystalline form. In other words, this presence of diamond Brilliancy is the essential prototype of the quality of preciousness. It is Being manifesting its preciousness, or manifesting as preciousness. That by itself feels like the presence of preciousness.