One deep resistance against aloneness is due to guilt. One feels that if he is alone, and especially if he is happy in his aloneness, it means he is selfish and uncaring about others and their suffering.

The Blue aspect is usually difficult for most people to access because their minds are so busy and their inner consciousness is so agitated. Things like worry, guilt, and agitated desire all tend to dissipate such repose and lead us away from our Being.

We frequently feel the turn towards the inner depths of Being as a turning away from the world, as an abandonment of the world of manifestation and experience. This can bring up what has remained of our rapprochement conflict, but deeper still, it brings up guilt for abandoning the world. Abandoning the world can be understood at this level as abandoning our mother, the deepest object for the libidinal ego. This brings out deep anguish and guilt, with a torrent of tears and sorrow. We are actually turning away from all objects, including mother’s internalized image, and towards the depths of our Being. There might also be conflict, fear of separation, and fear of loss… the passionate love for truth can be so powerful that it dissolves all these barriers with clear and discriminating understanding. Now, the student might find herself turning completely towards the depths, into her heart, the window to the mystery of Being.

These expectations may bring fear and trepidation as well as guilt and self-recrimination. The soul feels that she is now heartless, uncaring and unloving, lacking human warmth and compassion.