But there is an even more difficult complication, which is that one way to fill the hole is to make a false value, to pretend to yourself that you have value when you don’t feel you really do, because to feel the absence of value, its lack, is too painful. So most people tend to create false Essence to cover up their feeling of lack. What the personality consists of is false qualities of Essence. We call the personality the “false pearl”. Each person retains the memory of what was lost and will try to imitate it, will try to act, believe and feel in ways that are so close to the essential states that after a while the person fools himself, and other people as well.

What we call false pearl, or the personality, is a result of living or trying to live according to the ego ideal. The false pearl is an overall description whereas the ego ideal can be seen inside you. It is a certain structure that you can actually see floating around. The ego ideal is what I called the "dot." It is in juxtaposition to the true self -- what I call the "point." When you see your ego ideal on the level of subtle perception, you see a dark dot; and when you open it, you feel that you are an idea. You realize very distinctly that your ego ideal is really just an idea in your mind.

Very good—the relationship between the self and the personal essence, or what we call the “point” and the “pearl.” The false pearl is the personality which has developed according to the ego ideal. The personal essence, the personal beingness, on the other hand, which we call the Pearl Beyond Price, develops by living according to your essential self. This essential development can take place only when you are not separate from yourself. When you are who you are, when you are just precisely yourself, you are your “point.” Just that. This has nothing to do with any qualities, functions, capacities, and skills you may have. It has nothing to do with your status in the world, and nothing to do with living this life in a body or not in a body. It is your nature. The Pearl Beyond Price is the connection between this genuine center and all the capacities, skills, and understanding that are a part of your growth as a human being. It allows your capacities, functions and accomplishments to develop in a genuine way as an outgrowth of your spontaneous unfoldment. It is the result of living in the moment, living in a way that is true to who you are. This is your genuine personal life, your own development, your own growth. The pearl is the actualized individuation of your Soul. So the personal essence is connected with your unique function, your unique work in this life. To actualize your particular unique work in this life means to be your personal essence. It is the essence of all that you have developed and integrated in your soul as you live a real life.

Individuality. This is the sense of being a separate individual. In this most general layer of ego boundaries, one feels one’s boundaries as a soft and smooth surface, with a kind of dullness of sensation. This dull sensation feels like a thickness around oneself, but feels warm, comforting and familiar. One recognizes it as the familiar sense of himself. This familiar sense usually reminds one of his early life, for it reflects the basic emotional tone of his childhood home. The individuality is composed of ego identifications which have the function of giving it not only its separateness, but its sense of identity as well. There is a recognition of one’s person in it. It reflects one’s personal history, and feels very familiar. It is actually the sense of being the individual that one has been aware of for most of one’s life. It is, in a sense, an imitation of the Personal Essence; for this reason we sometimes refer to this state as the false pearl. This false pearl is actually what one is ultimately afraid of losing; it is what dissolves when one makes the transition to the formless dimensions of Being. It is a universal phenomenon; in a sense it is inherited or transmitted throughout the ages, from one generation to another in human history. It is the most universal and the deepest human conditioning. It is the condition of the overwhelming majority of humankind, ignorantly taken to be the real human element, when it is only an imitation or at best an incomplete development.