We need the kindness of Guidance in order to stay with the suffering of the soul; without that, it is too painful to tolerate the difficulties in our experience, and inquiry would be impossible. Frequently, for example, we close our hearts with anger and rage. In order to open to the pain that is there, we have to go through the rage and anger. To do this, sensitivity is needed to recognize that the anger is our outrage about the pain. So if we inquire into what the outrage is about, it will reveal the hurt. Otherwise, it will stay hidden. Experiencing the hurt will then reveal the underlying truth, and also open our hearts to the essential quality of Compassion, the Green Latifa.

If you are interested in becoming a truly mature human being, you must conduct yourself according to the highest values you know, all the time. It is part of being a mature human being to put in the effort of conducting yourself thusly. If you believe that the integration of your realization should just happen by itself, or that it should be easy, you are not understanding what life is all about and you are behaving like an infant. To become a gracious, generous, respectful, loving, kind, and clear human being, you have to work at it. It is not going to simply happen. God is not going to do it for you. You have to put effort into it, minute by minute; otherwise you will not transform. Of course, no one is saying you have to do this; no one has to do the Work. It is your choice. If you want to do it, this is what is required. You might say, “It’s too difficult. I’m angry about it and I don’t like it.” So it’s difficult. If you want to become mature as a human being, you must see your anger, your hurt, and your frustration, and tolerate it and in spite of it live like a mature human being.

You might have anger as a result of a deficiency, especially as a defense against feeling a hole. Most feelings, specifically those that are automatic and compulsive, are the result of holes. When there are no holes, there are no such emotions. Sadness, hurt, jealousy, anger, hatred, fear—all of these are the result of holes. If you have no holes, you don’t have these emotions. You have only Essence. That’s why such emotions are sometimes called passions, false feelings, or pseudo-feelings.Our whole society is set up to teach us that we should get the outside to fill our holes; we should get value, love, strength, and so on from outside. We talk about how wonderful it is to do things for other people, or to fall in love, or have a meaningful profession as if these activities are what give life meaning.We attribute the meaning to the person or thing we think is responsible for it rather than to Essence, which is really responsible. Our whole society is arranged so that people fill each other’s holes. Civilization as we know it is built around filling holes. It is a product of the personality. It is also the home of the personality. It is what sustains and nourishes the personality.

However, we see that anger turns into strength not because of verbalization itself, but because one feels the energetic aspect of the emotion instead of its conceptual part. The conceptual part can be eliminated through understanding, as in verbalization. However, the fact that anger can turn into strength by merely staying with the energetic aspect of the emotional state without acting out, indicates that this energetic aspect is already that of the Strength Essence. In other words, the process of metabolism related to this aspect occurs by purifying the associated object relations from the negative aspects, which are due to reactions not appropriate for the individual any more. When this occurs the metabolism results in the Strength aspect.

Narcissistic rage and envy: The narcissistic individual, or the normal individual at this phase of development, is prone to intense anger, an irrational rage, which may take the form of acute explosions or be chronic and vengeful.This narcissistic rage is provoked by the slightest—real or imagined—narcissistic insult, such as not being seen, understood, or appreciated, in the way one feels he deserves. Narcissistic envy may arise; one hates anyone who has (or seems to have), a rich inner life or external acclaim and feels pain about not having what the other has.

You can accumulate experiences of essence and have mountains of it, but if you have an attitude of acquisition, of achievement, of reaching some goal, then you are increasing your personality; it’s just getting bigger. There is bound to be suffering. There’s no other way. But it’s possible to be free from suffering when there is no desire to be free from suffering. There is a possibility of freedom, but it will happen only when there is no desire for freedom. Ultimately we need to drop the desire for freedom. This doesn’t mean you can now go about eliminating your desires. What you can do is understand the movement of desire. If you look at yourself in your meditation you’ll see that your mind is moving around, your emotions are moving around. When you’re angry, what are you angry about? You’re angry because what’s happening is not what you want to happen. You don’t like what’s happening. Somebody does something you don’t like, or you experience something you don’t like. Ultimately, anger is based on rejection.When you’re sad, why are you sad? You are sad because you lost something, or because something is not happening the way you want it to happen, or something you want is not there. So sadness is based on rejection. All emotions are based on the rejection of what is now, and your thoughts are the same way. Complete freedom means no personality at all. Complete freedom means essence—no mind and no emotions.